Forget to remember.

This is the day that I take a deep breath and forget.

Forget to remember everything I THOUGHT I knew about You.

Everything I thought I knew about love.

Just everything.

Ladies and Gents: it's a simple thought..so I'll keep it short and sweet.

I began keeping a journal last Christmas...or at least tried to begin one...about a subject that I thought I knew something about: Love. Relentless love.

In my humble opinion, I thought that my track record of failed relationships had awarded me enough knowledge to pretend to know something about how love SHOULD actually go. Wrong.

In fact, I submit to you that even the most loving of beings cannot fully grasp the concept of what love SHOULD be. That's right. Couples who have been married for 50..60..70 years can never fully wrap their minds around the concept of love as it was intended.

This is a thought that I'll expound upon later so I'm going to just start you off with a little teaser as I get back into the feel of writing more frequently. So here we go....

I am amazed by the concept that the one thing that we are built to crave is the one thing that we are incapable of giving. Relentless love.

Our souls long for it.

Our bodies crave it.

Everything that we are hungers for a relentless love.

..but there is nothing within our frail human condition that can manufacture that type of love.

Everything about our condition is built on a time clock. Our time is limited.

Our bodies will die..and even our truest love will end when we expire.

It's not that our love is not true...but, rather, we are incapable of creating the type of love that we are built to crave.

..but we try.

and try.

and try.

We try relationship after relationship. Go from person to person. Hoping that with each new person that comes into our lives there will come a new chance that our longing will finally be satisfied. We hope that we will finally find the one person that totally completes us.

..but when you go in with that perspective you are destined to fail.

So eventually you'll find yourself back at ground zero..seeking after that one thing that somehow always eludes you.

I'm learning my lesson.

Or maybe I've just pretended like I haven't known it all along.

Hoping somehow that I could change that and somehow "manufacture" for myself what I needed. Once again, human logic bites the dust.

I guess what I'm really driving at is that I accept and acknowledge the inability and inadequacy of myself (or anyone else) to be THAT kind of lover. I cannot give eternal love.....as much as I would like to believe or promise. I will disappoint you.

But...I do know who can satisfy.

And I want to chase Him for a change.

..but in order to do that

I must make this the day that I take a deep breath and forget.

Forget to remember everything I THOUGHT I knew about Him.

Everything I thought I knew about love.

Just everything.