Healing.

There is something powerful about the phrase ' I love you'.
Three simple words. Granted, probably the most overused and abused words in the English language..but nonetheless, they are the words with the power to shatter someone's world or piece together the ruins of ancient history...all in a matter of seconds.

It's sad to think of all the people who have wasted those words. Wasted them one those who would never fully grasp their meaning or appreciate the heart from which they were offered. At the same time, it amazes me how those same unappreciated hearts -even with all their damage-are the ones who continue to pour out of themselves as if they were never were disappointed in love.

I do not profess to be an unappreciated soul for I believe that I have been loved and have loved a time or two. I do, however, believe that we are all (to an extent) damaged merchandise. I think that, in each of us, there are portions of who we are that bear witness to the things we've endured..even if most of the world never sees that portion of our souls. Chips in our foundations. Battered faith. Shattered hope. They are all small enough to go undetected to the majority of those who pass us by..but big enough to leave their marks in our makeup.

I've always had a thing about scars...but not in a creepy sense. I have been drawn to them because of the story that they tell. In my opinion, a body with scars is a body that has been 'lived in'...a life that has been proven to one extent or another. By the same token, I guess it could be said that a heart with scars is a heart that has seen and given love. This doesn't necessarily mean that it will be pretty, just as scars usually aren't beautiful. If anything, a scar will most often leave behind a defect, whether solely physical or functional. Alot of the time, I believe that we all live under the misconception that love (as the world sees it) is always a beautiful thing. We would all like to keep 'love' nice and clean..like a dime-a-dozen line in a mass-produced Valentine's Day card or a box of chocolates.
Conveinant given. Easily accepted.

The truth is that love, as we have made it, is messy. We all hope to have the effortless version of love that we see in every Hallmark movie..but, in most cases, the thing that we've come to associate with 'love' is anything but effortless. From that point we just assume that love is the issue..that there is something tainted about it all. Instead, the only thing tainted is the thing that we have concocted and labeled as 'love'. Our version. Our terms.
It's important for me to remind myself that 'love' is not the rascal responsible for our damage. Love, as it is intended, is meant to serve as the antidote to all evils. Pure love.

That is the hardest concept to wrap my mind around...especially when I see those around me falling to pieces..relationship after relationship. It's difficult to swallow all the things that we do..all in the name of 'love'. It's hard to not develop a bad taste toward something as this that has been so manipulated and exploited. Sadly, the image of pure love that each of us were meant to clearly envision and behold in our mind at one point or another has been scarred by one unskilled, wanton surgeon after another..and another..and another.

The question remains:
Is 'love' the victim in this or are we, the scarred who remain, to play that part?

As painful as it is to receive, I propose that each of us play the dual roles of the reckless surgeon and the pitied victim. In fact, we play them well.

I am guilty of leaving damage in my wake...as I'm sure you are. I've left my mark on a heart that now bears a scar..and it's something that weighs heavily on my mind. I'm not proud by any means..and I do not attempt to rationalize away my contrition. If anything, I have learned from my botched attempt how to never hurt another in that manner again. I think we would like to imagine that every surgeon that leaves behind a painful rememberence upon us does so with ill intent. The truth is that most of us get hung up on the scar itself..rather than the symbolism that it bears for the deeper issue that is now resolved within us. Granted, with some operations there will be cases of unneccessary damage..cuts that never should have been made and ,as a result, scars that serve only as reminders of how we were wronged. Before you and I jump to play the roll of the victim we need to do an assessment of our own last work. I'm sure that we've made some pretty unneccessary slices on the hearts of others as well.

Coming back to 'pure love' is anything but easy. In the best of cases, there are incredible amounts of damage brought to the table from both sides when relationships materialize. Some scars may be more recent than others..more colorful..too painful to touch yet. Some may already have started to fade. The thing that is consistent, however, is the fact that nearly every situation demands some degree of therapy. The point of physical therapy, in a medical sense, is to facilitate the healing process. Simple things that probably came more naturally at one point have to be revisited and slowly brought back to memory and practice. The same is necessary when it comes to relationships. Things that once were so easy to give..trust, patience, allegiance..have to be slowly be brought back into our lives. They have to be won back..just as physical therapy is gradual process.

Healing may not be immediate..but, the fact remains, scars do heal. Eventually.